The Avenger's Alphabet
by BackToTheFuture1995
Summary: A collection of one-shots about the lives of the avengers, Loki and everyone else after the events of The Avengers. Only for comedic purpose and no real story-line involved. Enjoy! :)
1. Chapter 1

Avenger's Alphabet - Chapter One

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_**A/N: I randomly came up with this idea and do not know if this has been done already or not but either way here it is. The following/future chapters will be a collection of one-shots about the life of the Avengers (and Loki) and are about what the titles suggest. Slightly AU just because of Loki living with them.**_

_**This is my first Avengers fic so be kind to me please :) Thank you and enjoy!**_

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Asgardian Alcohol.

* * *

Tony Stark. The very man who's is forever praised for his genius mind, sighed dramatically in his seat as a new emotional state flowed through him. Boredom. Stark was well and truly bored and it was no surprised as seen as though the Avengers had less _evil_ to deal with since Loki's _retirement_.

Tony glanced around his lab briefly to see if there was anything he could do until his eyes landed on the abandoned bottle of scotch sitting on his desk.

"Hmm..." He muttered as he swiveled his chair and pushed his feet off the ground to get closer to the alcohol. Stark rested his chin on the desk and studied the bottle as his mind ticked with ideas. He was known for his hi-tech inventions but today he wanted to try something new. He liked alcohol and he liked inventing so why not create his own?

"You've been down here for quite some time Stark?" Bruce appeared. Tony jolted slightly at the unexpected arrival however he didn't look up from the bottle.  
"How long is _quite some time_?" He replied with a slight smirk.  
"Long enough...What are you doing?" Banner raised an eyebrow at the odd position Tony was currently in.  
"Thinking."  
"About?"

Suddenly Stark jumped out of his seat and grabbed the bottle at the same time.  
"Are you up for little scientific experiment Banner?" He waved the bottle in front of Bruce's face. Bruce immediately stepped back.  
"And I'm guessing this scientific experiment involves that?" He pointed at the scotch in Stark's hand.  
"Not quite – but it does involve us making some of our own." Stark shoved the bottle into Banner's hands before clearing his desk with one swish of his arms and scribbling random words and equations on a scrap bit of paper.

"Woah wait – you are kidding right?" Bruce shook his head and wondered how he now had the bottle in his hand. Instead of replying, Tony turned his head around to give his fellow science partner a _does-it-look-like-i'm-kidding_ look, then went back furiously writing. Bruce once more shook his head and breathed before placing the alcohol bottle back on the desk and taking a pen for his self.  
"Okay, where do we start?"...

* * *

The rest of the Avengers were upstairs – at the top of the tower – in the open living area.

Clint was currently teaching the God of Thunder how make a typical Midgardian sandwich where as Steve and Natasha were watching re-runs of the TV show _F.R.I.E.N.D.S. _Loki on the other hand was further back in the room trying to read Midgardian fiction however being distracted by the mechanical laughter from the television.  
"So this is what everyone watches now days?" Steve asked Natasha.  
"Mmm hmm." She mumbled as she took a handful of popcorn and shoved it in her mouth.

Thor was adding his final touches to his sandwich and when he placed the remaining slice of bread on top, he was immensely proud of his new skill.  
"Look brother! I have successfully completed in making this Midgardian snack!" He cheered at Loki while holding up his sandwich. Clint laughed at how easily pleased he was before taking a huge bite out his own. The god of Mischief exasperated frustratingly at this disruption and glanced up to give Thor and unimpressed look.  
"Amazing..." He replied blankly before licking his finger to grip the page - making it easier to turn. Not understanding his brother's sarcasm Thor's grin grew wider as he lowered the sandwich for tasting.

* * *

"Didn't Bruce leave to find Stark like an hour ago?" Barton mumbled as he finished up eating his snack. This caught Roger's and Romanoff's attention. Natasha readjusted herself to her knees and look behind the couch.  
"Perhaps he is still looking, it isn't exactly like this place is small." She suggested.  
"That's true, I still get lost trying to find the bathroom." Steve added.  
"Why don't we ask the voice with no body?!" Thor exclaimed.  
"Do you mean Jarvis?" Clint had to think what the god meant.  
"Do you lot mind? I'm trying to read!" Loki interrupted the Avengers with clear dissatisfaction.  
"Oooooh our apologies..." Natasha replied in a weird high pitched voice and flung a pillow in the god's direction. Her aim didn't fail her and it successfully whacked him across the face. The rest of the group snickered where as Loki lowly growled. Unfortunately for him he didn't have a chance to retaliate because the two men in speaking bolted through the door.  
"SOMEONE TRY THIS!" Tony Stark shouted at no one in particular and was holding a small test tube with a nearly transparent liquid inside.

"I WILL!" Thor automatically followed and stood up eagerly. Everyone else ignored the loud men and looked straight at Banner.  
"What is it?" Steve asked for the group.  
"Scotch." Bruce replied blankly.  
"Ah – might I add – it is our own creation of scotch, although it is very early days." Stark corrected.  
"You two were downstairs making alcohol?" Natasha raised her eyebrows in surprise. Tony 's only reply was a grin and he continued to make his way towards his volunteer.  
"Stark are you sure it's wise for anyone to test it yet – like you said it is early days." Bruce intervened.

"Pfft, a god isn't _anyone_ Banner – it will be fine – have some faith in our work." Stark winked before handing the test tube to Thor.

This now had Loki's attention and he closed his book to watch.  
"If you poison him Odin isn't going to be pleased with you..." He chimed from the back of the room. Tony and everyone else followed his voice.  
"Well do you want to drink it instead?" Tony uttered sarcastically.  
"Oh no by all means, if my brother wants to be so foolish into trying something you have created, then no go ahead." Loki smirked. This earned a glare from Thor.  
"I am not foolish Loki! I trust the Man of Iron." He complained before gulping down the drink in one sip. Everyone watched intently for the God of Thunder's reaction but no one expected the reaction he gave. Thor's face scrunched up like he just ate a whole lemon before slamming the test tube to the ground in disgust.  
"Is this what you Midgardians call Alcohol?!" He freaked. Everyone except from Loki eyes widened in shock. The God of Mischief erupted in laughter at his brother's distress but was ignored.  
"Well I'm insulted..." Tony muttered.

* * *

"Hey is there any left to try?" Barton turned to Stark after Bruce cleaned the broken pieces of glass by Thor.  
"You want to try it after you just Thor's reaction?" Natasha glared at him with her eyes still wide.  
"What? People's taste buds are different." He defended his self.  
"I have some left – yes." Stark answered, however he was still offended by the God of Thunder's reaction.  
"We all might as well try." Clint continued.  
"Go ahead but I'm not going back downstairs." Stark shrugged and slumped his self on the couch next to Steve. Barton gave a pleading look towards Bruce hoping he would go down and get the rest of the _whiskey_ the scientific geniuses made. Banner sighed.  
"You're coming with me."  
"Fine..." Barton groaned and reluctantly lifted his self up to follow the doctor out of the room.

* * *

The doctor and the archer were back with the rest of the alcohol all in separate test tubes for the rest of the group to try. One by one the group including Loki and minus Thor took one to try. Steve and Bruce were the only ones who actually looked worried about drinking this concoction.

Natasha closed one eye and inspected the liquid, Tony swiveled his around and Loki rolled his eyes as he waited.  
"Ready?" Stark asked everyone and they all nodded.  
"Here goes nothing..." Natasha mumbled and the group knocked backed their samples quickly. A few seconds past and in sync, all of them reacted exactly like Thor – minus the test tube smashing.  
"That is probably the worse thing I have ever tasted Stark." Natasha spluttered.  
"Thor is right, you cannot call that alcohol?" Steve coughed and choked at the overly burning feeling at the back of his throat.  
"Ugh give me Asgardian liquor any day over whatever that was!" Loki complained but he seemed to be the first to get his composure back.  
"All right! I admit it's disgusting so stop shooting me down guys." Tony finally spoke and put his hands up in surrender.  
"So none of you liked it?" Thor looked confused.  
"Obviously not." Loki once again rolled his eyes.  
"Nope but I wouldn't mind trying some Asgardian booze like Loki mentioned." Clint implied.  
"Don't you think we have had enough intoxication for the night." Banner muttered as he placed his test tube back into the holder.  
"We had a sip of something that tasted like shit – so no." Barton folded his arms and smugly replied.  
"None of you would be able to handle the alcohol of the gods." The God of Thunder smirked as he sensed a challenge...  
"Oh here we go..." The Liesmith muttered under his breath.

* * *

After a little persuading the warrior and the archer had gotten the rest of the Avengers to agree in trying some Asgardian liquor.  
"Brother please use your powers to summon our Asgardian beverages!" Thor asked in his usual manner.  
"No." The God of Mischief simply replied.  
"Loki!" Thor glared. A stare off between the two gods began until Loki creepily smirked.  
"Okay fine." He eventually said and summoned his power.  
"Why do I not trust him?" Stark whispered to Banner.  
"Like I said before his ___brain is a bag full of cats__." _He whispered back. Everyone watched the green power immersing from the god as he pointed his hands towards the table near Clint, then with a pop, the light disappeared to reveal seven large glasses full to the brim of light brown liquid.  
"Enjoy..." Loki muttered demoniacally before walking up to take one of the glasses and leaving the room with a permanent smirk etched across his face. The rest of them eyed Thor as he shrugged at his brother's exit and he also took a glass for his self. He took a sip for testing to make sure Loki hadn't been up to his mischievous tricks. When he was satisfied he offered the rest the remaining glasses.  
"Are you sure it's safe as seen as though this is Loki's doing?" Rogers asked trying to hide the concern on his face.  
"That's the least of your worries Steve..." The god chuckled and slapped his free hand against the captain's back, "One glass of this liquor is enough to get any Asgardian tipsy at the very least. Unfortunately I do not know what effect it has on mortals..."  
"It's a good job it's impossible for me to get drunk then." Steve sadly smiled.  
"Cap' after drinking this I wouldn't be so sure." Tony uttered after taking a sip of this own glass.  
"My god, that is strong!" Natasha also exclaimed after trying hers. The God of Thunder continued to laugh as he watched his fellow comrades accustom to his tastes.

* * *

Music was blaring throughout the tower as the avengers were literally in high spirits. Only an hour passed since the group was introduced to the Asgardian liquor and it seemed to leave a lasting affect. Tony was now dressed in his Iron-man suit, stood on the table and singing terribly out of tune to the song currently playing. Natasha had some how managed to find Clint's bow and arrows and was running around the room setting them off in all sorts of directions – Barton was close behind. Steve and Bruce were both spread out on the couch flinging the leftover popcorn at the god of thunder who was lying flat on his back on the floor next to them. Alcohol of the gods did seem to have an affect on the immune solider...

Meanwhile Loki was in his room trying to watch the rerun of _F.R.I.E.N.D.S _that was previously on – he insisted he was only observing the show for knowledge about this realm. He might be three floors down but the beat from the song _I'm sexy and I know it_ could be easily heard.  
"Jarvis what is going?!" He called out for the _voice with no body_ as he paused the television.  
"Your brother and the rest of the avengers are currently enjoying the liquor you conjured up just over an hour ago, reindeer games, sir." Jarvis' computerized voice answered. Loki winced at the nickname Stark had clearly programmed the Al to say and then scowled. The Liesmith decided to take a look at the _enjoyment _they seem to be having.

Loki arrived just in time to see the table Tony was standing on collapse under him – breaking the docking station at the same time. Barton was shot with one of his own arrows - in the ass – by Natasha and Thor smashing the bowl of remaining popcorn with the Mjolnir - after he didn't understand how or why the tiny clouds were attacking him. The God of Mischief tried his hardest not to crack a smile seeing the drunken avengers struggling to hold their drink. What they didn't know was Loki might had strengthen the alcohol – except for his own - just a teeny bit more than the usual percentage back in Asgard. He was a trickster after all.  
"What a bunch of light weights..." He shook his head before turning on his heel to leave and finally finish the rest of the episode he was _observing..._


	2. Chapter 2

The Avenger's Alphabet - Chapter Two

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_**A/N: Next one-shot uploaded :). Thanks to everyone who read my last chapter and hope you enjoy this one! Reviews **_**_appreciated! :D_**

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Barricading Bruce.

* * *

_Groundhog Day_. That's what it was like every morning inside the tower. Bruce and Steve were always the first up and not far followed by Natasha. The Captain would go straight ahead to the cereal cupboard because it was the only thing easy enough to _make._ Banner would quietly greet the other two with an apple in hand and make his way to where Jarvis would kindly place the morning paper.

After approximately ten minutes, The God of Thunder would make an appearance still half asleep and would drag his self to his _Pop-tarts_ – which results in either the Assassin or the Doctor insisting he should eat healthier.

Clint and Loki would enter half an hour later than the rest of the Avengers and Tony would always be the last by a good hour to forty five minutes – depending on what mood hit him that morning. If he was in a bad mood it wouldn't take long before the coffee put him back to his usual self.

Without fail this would happen every morning but today was a different tale.

* * *

Bruce found his self up alone but that came with no surprise because he was up an hour earlier than usual. He had been on edge lately, perhaps it was a bad dream? Either way, he struggled to sleep and decided to start his day early. The doctor was peacefully eating his daily apple and reading today's paper when another abnormality happened. Loki slumbered his way in, half dressed and looking just as Bruce felt. The Liesmith did not notice the Doctor sitting at the table as he made his way to the fridge. He took out some orange juice and turned to get a glass and that's when he saw Banner.  
"Oh, I didn't know anyone would be up..." Loki startled at the sudden company.  
"Couldn't you sleep either?" Banner looked up from the paper.  
"As a matter of fact my sleep was disrupted by thirst." The God retorted. Bruce rose an eyebrow and continued to read the article in front of him.

Neither of them uttered a word to each other. Loki happily drank his orange juice from the other side of the table as Bruce kept reading. That was until the Liesmith knocked the glass over.  
"Fuck." He hissed. This caused Bruce to take notice. Loki thought fast and suddenly snatched the newspaper from Banner's grasp. He placed it on top of the orange puddle and sighed in relief as it adsorbed the juice.  
"I wasn't finished with that!" Banner yelled. The god's eyes shot up from the puddle and to the annoyed Doctor's face.  
"It was absorbent therefore I needed it." He simply remarked. Bruce clenched his fists under the table as he was now becoming pissed.  
"That is what paper towels are for." He spoke through gritted teeth.  
"This is paper is it not?" Loki did not understand why this was such a big deal. Banner sat up and slammed his knuckles against the table causing the God to flinch.  
"I. Wasn't. Finished. Reading!" He spat. The Liesmith knew that anger wasn't a good thing went it came to Dr. Banner however, he tried to push his luck. He looked down at the paper and saw the ink was flowing freely.  
"Well you can't read it now..." He smirked showing Bruce exactly what the juice had done.

Loki regretted what he said instantly as soon as he saw the green lines appearing over Banner's neck.

"Um – Banner?" He backed away immediately and the only reply he got was a low growl indicating that the _other guy_ was taking control.  
"Shit." Loki uttered before running off to the door and locking it behind – even though he knew it was no use.  
"Puny God!" He heard the Hulk roar and that was it he was gone.  
"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shiiit!" The God of Mischief continued to curse as he sprinted down the hall.  
"THOR!" He bellowed. There was no answer and the door he previously closed smashed into pieces.  
"ROGERS? STARK? ANYONE?!" He cried. He new from the last acquaintance with the Hulk that he was no match.

* * *

Clint got up grudgingly, after hearing Loki's scream. He had no idea what was going on but after the sound of _smashing_ he knew it wasn't good.  
"What the hell is going on?" Barton complained as he rubbed his sleepy eyes. He did not expect to see the Liesmith barge past him and a very green Bruce behind.  
"Oh you have got to be kidding me." Clint muttered before copying Loki's motives and sprinting away.  
"What did you do Loki?!" He yelled as he tried to catch up.  
"I don't think this is the time to explain how this happened Barton!" Loki called back.

"HULK SMASH!" The Hulk raged letting the others two know how close he really was. They had now gotten to the start of the staircase just as Natasha and Steve were coming down.  
"Why did I just hear the words _Hulk Smash?_" Natasha asked with panic in her eyes. Instead of an answer she saw why... Banner/Hulk was charging full speed towards the four of them.  
"RUN!" Loki demanded and each of them listened. Clint, Natasha and Steve briskly made their way upstairs as Loki summoned his power to create a force field. He knew it would only last minutes but that was better than nothing. He was done just as The Hulk reached the staircase and the new barrier knocked him backwards. The Liesmith mechanically laughed at the green beast before he retreated and caught up with the others.

* * *

"Banner has Hulked out?" Tony repeated the Captain's words after he explained what was going on. Loki appeared right after and Stark glared.  
"Why do you always cause us problems?" He complained to the God of Mischief as everyone continued to climb another set of stairs.  
"Why do you assume that this is my doing?" Loki retorted.  
"Because it always is!" Natasha breathed.

Once they reached the top floor, Thor was casually standing there with his Mjolnir in hand.  
"I heard Banner?" He spoke with a clear frown across his features.  
"Yes we got no time, come on!" Loki rolled his eyes and grabbed his brother's wrist to drag him with the rest.

* * *

The group was all now huddled inside the game-room on the top floor trying to figure out how to get Banner back to his usual self.  
"My force field would have more than likely died out by now so he should be on his way up." Loki explained gulping at the end of his sentence.  
"With have merely seconds – we need a plan." Rogers stated. Stark was pacing back and forth and rubbing his forehead frustratingly.  
"Reindeer-games could you produce another force field long enough for me and Thor to do our jobs and get Banner back to reality?" Tony stopped pacing.  
"Could you please stop calling me Reindeer-" Loki was cut off by his brother.  
"Loki can you or can you not?"  
"Yes but it needs to be a constant loop, meaning I have to stand there constantly." He explained.  
"HULK KILL PUNY GOD!" The Hulk roared in a distance.  
"Couldn't we just let Banner have him?" Clint suggested earning a scowl from the two gods.  
"He will not hurt my brother, Barton!" Thor bellowed.

"Jarvis! Suit me up." Stark called out and that shut everyone up. "Cap' and Barton get to the door and get ready to open it. And Tasha, Reindeer- games get ready to run through." He instructed as two mechanical hands were dressing him up. The floor began to vibrate with each stomp of the Hulk's feet meaning he was now even closer.  
"Are we ready?!" Thor bellowed. Everyone nodded and the God of Thunder rose his hammer in the air. With that, the Captain and Hawk kicked open each of the large blue doors giving the Hulk easy access. Loki and Romanoff snuck past the beast and back outside, soon followed by the guys – which left Thor and Stark inside.  
"The door! Close it!" The Liesmith demanded so he could begin summoning his magic once more. Once the door slam shut he did just that and also winced as he heard smashing and breaking from inside the game room.  
"If the _Xbox_ is destroyed, I will happily shoot an arrow in between your eyes..." Clint uttered to the God of Mischief. If his hands wasn't full, Loki would of definitely zapped him across the hall but instead he ignored the childish comment and focused on the force field.  
_"Bruce put that down!" _Tony's voice pleaded from behind the closed doors. Straight after, a sound of something_ big_ crashed against the entrance.  
"Stark what's going on?" Natasha yelled.  
_"Everything's fine - not everyday you get a pinball table thrown at you – everything's fine."_ They heard Tony muttering in a daze.

"_YOU CANNOT DEFEAT THE SON OF ODIN BANNER!" _Thor was next to roar as he charged the hammer towards the Hulk.  
"Perhaps I should go in there?" Steve suggested and began to walk past Loki.  
"Oh no, not without your shield you don't.." Natasha grabbed the sleeve of his shirt and pulled him back with ease. Suddenly, everything went silent. Loki looked behind to the group, however still summoning his magic.  
"Should I drop the barrier?"

Oddly, the guys turned to Natasha for an answer.  
"Tony give us an update!" She shouted at the green force-field. No answer. That caused everyone to shudder. Loki didn't ask a second time, he instantly dropped the barrier letting Steve and Clint barge through.

* * *

The game-room was in complete ruins. The TV was hanging from its brackets while the game consoles – much to Barton's dismay – were broke beyond repair. Windows were shattered and walls were cracked; it was going to take a lot of time and money to fix this up – not even including the mess downstairs.

The God of Thunder was the first to be seen crawling his way out from under a flipped over couch. He looked a little confused but apart from that he was absolutely fine.  
"Are you okay?" Steve briskly walked over to the God. He nodded insisting he was and pointed his Mjolnir to an undressed and passed out Bruce lying beside a Pac-Man machine. Clint grabbed the throw- what was on the floor next to couch - and marched over to place it on top of the Doctor.  
"Bruce, buddy wake up." He said while slapping the cheeks of the unconscious man. Banner slowly opened his eyes and was quickly aware of what just happened. He sat up to glower at the Liesmith and everyone's eyes followed.  
"My bad..." Was Loki's reply.

"M_rrrahghhhhh._" A groan appeared from outside. The group including Bruce ran over to the broken window and looked down to see an Iron-Man suit face first against the ground. Stark was six floors down on his balcony trying to lift his self up.  
"Tony are you all right?!" Steve called down as he put his hands around his mouth.  
_"Mrrahhghh" _Stark replied with another muffled groan.

The Avengers and Loki rushed back down the stairs to help the struggling _Man of Iron._ By the time they got to the balcony he was finally standing and swaying side to side. Steve and Thor ran over to take each of Stark's arms to help him balance.  
"I'm sorry Tony." Bruce grimaced at the sight of his swaying science partner.  
"Jarvis!" Stark suddenly called out with a slight slur as they all led him inside.  
"Yes sir?"  
"Please add up the cost of the damages and send the bill to Reindeer Games."  
"Right away sir."

Some of the group snickered at Tony's demand as Loki glared irritably.  
"Good luck trying to pay for it all without any money brother." Thor smirked.  
"Oh please, how hard can it be to get hold of Midgardian currency? The God of Mischief snorted as he stood still outside. No one answered.  
"It isn't hard!" He defended his self. Still no one answered as they were well inside the tower.  
"Is it?!" Loki's pitch raised and still no one replied. All this over a simple newspaper...  
"Well, shit..."


	3. Chapter 3

The Avenger's Alphabet – Chapter Three

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**_A/N: Yay thanks for the follows and reviews so far - keep them coming :). This chapter was a bit tiresome to write but I'm pleased with the outcome. Thanks for reading... Enjoy! _**

* * *

Clint's Cards.

* * *

Clint Barton threw his self on the couch, eager to rip off the protective plastic on the _Limited Edition Avengers Playing Cards_ he had just bought. He had to admit he did feel a bit stupid queuing up in _Wal-Mart_ just to buy them, however he wanted to desperately see what he looked like inside.

He only just managed to get the see-through plastic off before Tony Stark came strolling in, in his workout attire.  
"Hey Birdy where have you been all day?" He asked as he placed one of his knees on the end of the couch.  
"Fury rang, he told me I had training and I've only just got back." Clint shrugged and sneakily tried to hide the cards in his jacket pocket. Stark eyed him carefully as he took a sip out of his water bottle. Clint stood up ready to walk off but Tony had other plans.  
"What you got in your pocket?" He pointed the bottle at Barton.  
"Just my cell..." Clint reached in the opposite pocket and pulled it out.  
"No I meant the other one." Stark corrected.  
"Nothing." He lied. Tony raised an eyebrow at this.  
"I just saw you shove something in there..." Stark explained but suddenly gasped. "Is it drugs? Oh it better not be illegal." He began to sarcastically rant but was cut off by Clint.  
"No! I told you I got nothing in that pocket." Barton was only lying because he knew how Tony would react if he found out he bought them.  
"Do you want me to get Natasha? Oh Natash-" Tony's call was stopped immediately by Clint's hand around his mouth.  
"All right! Fine there you go..." He sulked as he pulled out the small box and handed it to Stark. It took a moment for him to register what he was just given until he saw the familiar _'A'_ logo on the top.  
"Are these cards?" Tony asked as he opened the package.  
"Yes, I only bought them because I wanted to see what they looked like!" Barton defended his self. Stark smirked as he flicked through the ordered cards and his smirk grew wider once he saw his familiar Iron-Man suit.  
"Hey look it's me!" He pulled a _Jack of Diamonds_ out from the pack and shoved it in Clint's view. His picture was positioned in the middle of the card with the recognizable Iron-Man pose. This had now got Barton excited. He snatched the rest of the cards from Stark's grasp and briskly went through the others. He stopped when he finally found another _Jack_ but this time it was _Spades_. Hawkeye's picture had his bow and arrow in hand and was ready to aim.  
"So we are both the Jack's in this party...Would of much preferred to be a King but oh well." Tony muttered to his self as an Idea popped into his head.  
"Oi Birdy – lets get the others and have a card night!" He shouted.  
"A card night? I didn't buy these to show to the other's Stark." Clint frowned and took the card Tony was holding to place back into the deck.  
"Oh come on! It will be great..." Tony winked "Jarvis please get everyone down here at once for a fun filled evening!" He called out, ignoring the constant glare across Barton's face.  
"As you wish." The computerized voice replied. Clint had no choice in this matter now...

* * *

_Later that evening..._

* * *

The Avengers – even including Loki – were now all huddled round Stark's specialized playing card table - which he tends to use for his infamous _Poker-Nights._  
After a brief discussion of why the cards were bought and once everyone had a look at their pictures the night could begin.  
"I still can't believe that Cap' and Thor were the Kings!" Stark wailed while flicking through the deck as everyone thought of what to play.  
"Well Thor is pretty much a King already – It's only fair." Bruce reasoned. Loki snorted to his self at that comment but no one noticed.  
"Doesn't explain how Spandex here gets to be the other Kings?..." Tony continued to question. Steve frowned at the sudden nickname before replying.  
"We didn't create the cards Stark."  
"Yeah, someone would begin to think that you're jealous Tony?" Natasha grinned.  
"You're just being snooty because you were on all the queens." He remarked.  
"Well, Bruce was on all the Aces!" She hissed and crossed her arms.  
"Um – the _Other Guy_ was on them not me..." He corrected.  
"Can we please just get on with this social gathering!" Loki suddenly complained as he looked up to the ceiling. Everyone silenced to look at the frustrated God before agreeing to start.

Thor looked the most excited out of all of them. They had card games back in Asgard but he knew for a fact that tonight was going to be different because it consisted of Midgardian games. Natasha was shuffling the cards quickly and quietly as Steve and Bruce were discussing idea's of what to play. Tony was admiring the cardboard box the cards came in while Loki on the other hand sat in silence looking down at his hands as he clearly didn't want to be here.

"Ha! Look at R.D's cards!" Tony snorted as he threw two cards from inside the box onto the table. The group wondered who on earth _R.D _was until they saw Loki's figure on the J_okers_.  
"Even the common public know what you are." Clint chuckled. The Liesmith glared unhappily at the cards and then at the group. He and the others gathered he wouldn't be on the cards because he obviously was not an Avenger but this was just plain stupid.  
"This is hardly fair!" He protested.  
"You tried to destroy the whole of Manhattan – be grateful they actually put you in the pack." Bruce reminded the God. He rolled his green eyes before picking one of the cards up to examine it closer.  
"Hmm well at least they got my cheekbones right." He muttered before flinging the card back on the table.  
Tony instantly took the _Jokers _and the box and started moving the cards like a puppet show.  
"_Oooo look I'm the great God of Mischief getting my ass kicked into a cell once again.. argghhh..._" Stark mimicked a high pitched voice before shoving the two _Jokers_ into the packet. This caused Loki to scowl immediately as the others snickered like school children. The Liesmith clicked his fingers and suddenly a gust of wind blew past, flinging the cards towards Stark.

"LOKI!" Everyone raged as the playing cards were now all over the floor and Tony.  
"So he can make a mockery of me but I cannot of him?" His eyes burned into all of them.

"Ugh, can you just pick up the cards?" Natasha had no time for _Iron vs Frost_ today. With another roll of his eyes Loki clicked his fingers to summon the cards back up on the table in and orderly pile. Thor grinned where as everyone else looked slightly amazed by this.  
"Well, are we playing a game or not?" Loki sighed with his chin resting on his fist.  
"Anyone got any suggestions of what to play?" Steve asked.  
"How about a good ol' fashion game of _Strip Poker_?" Stark called out as he clapped his hands together.  
"NO!" Everyone shouted in unison.  
"Why not." He pouted.  
"Because the last time that happened, you, Loki and Natasha ended up being the only ones still fully clothed." Banner protested.  
"Yes because they cheat..." Clint muttered under his breath.  
"Hey! I do not cheat – I'm Russian it means I'm just naturally good at everything." Natasha huffed.  
"Bullshit!" Clint called out.  
"I beg your pardon?!" She hissed and looked ready to climb over the table and hit him.  
"No - oh god - I didn't mean that towards you, I meant lets play the game _Bullshit_." He sunk into his seat while avoiding her fiery glare.  
"This game seems rude - Did you come up with this Man of Iron?" Thor's question distracted the attention from Clint. The group including Loki and excluding Stark laughed at this.  
"Why would you think I came up with the game _Bullshit_?!" Tony looked honestly offended by this.  
"Well this game was certainly not around in the forties..." Steve mentioned. Clint looked a little confused by this.  
"Of course it would have – Have you ever played the game cheat?" He asked the solider. Rogers sat back and remembered his past.  
"Is that when you have to lie about what cards you have to win?"  
"Yes!" Barton grinned.  
"Why has the name been changed to that?" Steve furrowed his brow.  
"Because it's better that way..." Stark butted in to end the conversation. "_Bullshit_ it is?" He asked the group.

Everyone nodded minus the two Gods who looked deadly puzzled by this game. Natasha sighed as she explain to them how to play.  
"Everyone gets a certain amount of cards okay?..." She started. The Warrior nodded but the Liesmith did not.  
"Well that bit is certainly obvious." He muttered.  
"I'm trying to tell you the rules here!" She screeched and suddenly he shushed.  
"As I was saying, once the cards are dealt, the dealer – which is me – places any cards they want on the table, but they have to be for example two threes, one Ace or three fives... excreta. Got that?"

This time the Gods both nodded. She breathed gratefully before continuing.  
"Then in order we all place our cards down but it has to be either the higher, the same or the lower. So if I just put down two threes, Steve could now put more threes, twos or fours, depending on what he has."  
"Well this game seems simple enough let-" The God of Thunder cut in.  
"I wasn't done!"  
"Oh my apologies Lady Natasha, please continue." He blushed and Loki shook his head at the red face Prince.  
"Ugh I can't - please can any one take over before I kill someone." She insisted and lent back on her chair. Tony decided to take it upon his self to continue.  
"As _Miss Short Fuse_ was saying...Sometimes you might not have the cards you need and that is when you will have to lie in order to win."  
"So If I needed a four and I didn't I could put down a ten and say it was a four?" Loki muttered blankly as he now understood the concept of this game.  
"Exactly! But if you think someone is lying you can call _Bullshit_. If they were they have to take the cards already placed but if they wasn't the one who called it has to and a new round starts." Stark let out his remaining breath once he was done.  
"So how does someone win?" Thor asked.  
"Whoever is the first person to get rid of their cards." Steve helped.  
"Okay let's get on with it then..." Loki announced and everyone was off!

* * *

"I'm starting with two kings..." Natasha placed the exact cards down - as she was the dealer she got to go first.

"Bullshit!" Thor called instantly. The group glanced at him confused.  
"We have only just started playing?" Clint questioned.  
"Either way I was telling the truth so there you go..." She shrugged and handed the two Kings to Thor. He smiled as he saw one of the cards had a picture of him and placed them into his hand.  
"Who's go now?" Bruce asked.  
"Let's just go round the table, Cap' you're go." Tony insisted.  
"Okay, three tens." He started.  
"Bullshit!" The God of Thunder once again accused and the group groaned in annoyance.  
"Why do you keep calling it after the first go Point -Break?!" Tony sighed.  
"I thought those were the rules." Thor looked around the group puzzled.  
"Yes they are if you think someone is lying about their cards – but no one lies on the first go." Natasha explained as calmly as she could.  
"I do..." Clint muttered and all eyes were now on him.  
"Seriously?" Bruce announced.  
"It's more fun that way." He shrugged and everyone turned back round to Thor.  
"Do you actually understand the rules brother?" Loki opened his mouth, however he was looking down at his perfect order of cards.  
"Yes the man of Iron and Lady Natasha explained."

"So you know, you are not meant to call it until you think someone is lying?" Stark explained again. Thor nodded quietly and was handed the Soldier's tens.  
"Okay right well Loki it's your go." Natasha breathed. The God glanced up to see everyone was now waiting on him. His fingers fluttered over his hand until he plucked up two sevens and placed them on the table.  
"Two sevens..." He muttered blankly and glanced straight back down at his cards. The rest watched carefully to see if Thor would call _Bullshit_. When he didn't they all sighed a little sigh of relief before continuing the game.  
"Two eights." Clint proudly put down his cards and showed a playful smirk.  
"Four nines." Bruce retorted. Suddenly everyone went through their hands to see if they hand a nine. Banner gave a smug grin when everybody realized he was telling the truth and the game went away once again.  
"All I have is another eight..." Stark huffed. Thor looked down at his cards now knowing it was his go. He had nothing. Why didn't the Man of Iron say another ten!  
"Um - one eight..." He sneakily placed down a six and hoped no one would catch him out.  
"Bull. Shit." Loki had a devilish grin as he knew his brother was well and truly lying.  
"How did you know?!" Thor huffed in defeat.  
"I just did." Loki stated.  
"Hold up, you better not be cheating Loki..." Clint glared at the God of Mischief.  
"This whole game consists of cheating?" Loki questioned this accusation.  
"Yes but you could be using your mystical powers to hack into people's minds or what not." Stark also joined in.  
"I am not _hacking_ into people's minds! If you really want to know how I knew, it was because I had the final eight you imbeciles!" He hissed.  
"Oh." Stark and Barton both replied looking a little guilty.  
"Anyyywayyy..." Natasha interrupted the awkward tension "Thor take the pile and Clint it's your turn to start."

* * *

The same game continued for at least twenty minutes. Loki and Stark had the most cards because they were the ones who kept getting caught out. At the end of the day, nobody trusted the God of Lies for obvious reasons and well it was Tony... Steve kept quiet throughout and only lied twice when he needed to – he also never once called out bullshit even when he knew Clint and Natasha were lying their way through a couple of goes. It took the God of Thunder a while to get to grips with not calling it whenever he felt but to everyone's surprise it seemed either him or Bruce would win this round.

"Three sixes!" Loki slammed five different cards on the table very sneakily.  
"Bullshit!" Natasha yelled earning a glare from the Liesmith. He reluctantly picked up his cards as well as the small pile underneath which made him the loser at this moment.  
"Did you just put five cards down?" Bruce asked as he watched Loki sort out his hand.  
"Yes." He replied casually.  
"Okay how did none of us except Natasha notice that?" Stark uttered.  
"I didn't notice him put five cards down I just knew he didn't have any sixes..." She shrugged and everyone's eyes went back to the Liesmith. He smirked as usual.  
"I might be losing now but don't underestimate the God of Mischief and Lies..."

The room went suddenly cold and everyone shivered, however they all refused that it was Loki's doing and went back to the game.

Another twenty minutes flew by and a few of them were beginning to get bored. Stark now didn't care what he put down causing him to gain the most cards. Natasha gave up ages ago and insisted she would watch and the Solider soon followed. Bruce, Clint, Tony, Loki and Thor were left and throughout the God of Thunder had the upper hand.  
"Two Jacks..." Stark pathetically muttered as he accidentally placed a _Queen _and _Four_ the wrong way round.  
"Bull shit!" Thor and Clint called. Tony looked down realizing the mistake he made and sighed dramatically.  
"Ugh I quit! I need a drink..." He pushed back his chair and walked off towards the kitchen. Banner and Barton glanced at each other momentarily before they both sorted Stark's cards underneath the growing pile.  
"Two Queens." Bruce lied.  
"Bullshit." Loki happily said and the deck was handed to the Doctor.

The two brothers both had three cards left and everyone knew either of them would win it.  
"Five hundred bucks Reindeer-Games wins..." Stark whispered to Natasha as he came back with a glass of whiskey in hand.  
"You're on!" She shook his hand before turning back to the game.  
Clint had just put down two _Aces _as Loki lied before about two _Kings_, leaving him with one card left. It was now Thor's go.  
"Three twos..." The God of Thunder placed his final cards down with smile. The brother's stared at each other before Loki called it.  
"Bull. Shit." He spoke slowly and didn't take his eyes off the Warrior. Thor was taken aback by the sudden call and Loki knew he had done it, he was going to win!

Thor picked up the three cards he previously placed to reveal three two's happily sitting on the pile. The Liesmith's mouth fell open and Thor stood up in victory!  
"I have beaten you brother!" He roared and almost flipped the table over in excitement. Loki threw his remaining card in annoyance as Bruce and Clint sighed, relieved that they could leave.

Natasha instantly glanced over at Stark and he was already rummaging through his pocket for a few hundred dollar bills.  
"Nice doing business with ya." She smiled as he handed the five hundred bucks to her. Steve laughed at Tony's sudden mood change as he left muttering curse words under his breath. Clint and Bruce were next to leave the living area as it was now midnight and they needed there sleep. Thor was still uncontrollably cheering and to Natasha's horror he lifted her up and ran out of the room with her. This caused Steve to look a little lost however, he laughed it off – that was until he turned back round and saw the God of Mischief's glaring face.  
"I demand a rematch Thor!" He bellowed throughout the tower but was ignored. Steve got up – he didn't like being left alone with Loki at the best of times.  
"I know you can hear me brother! Come back here this instant." He continued throwing demands to thin air.  
"Um – goodnight Loki." The Captain muttered before briskly walking out the room.

Loki was left staring at the cards left out in front of him. Most of the cards were face down except for the winning two's and two Kings that had Thor's smug face all over them. This caused Loki to hiss and fire them off the table with another gust of wind. Loki knew he was a sore loser when he was defeated in games but he would usually get over it after a couple of hours. Unfortunately, losing to Thor was different... This was one thing the Liesmith would never hear the end of...

* * *

**_A/N: If you guys still don't know how to play the game I apologize, I tried to explain the best I could but here is a link with better explanation :) - Play-Bullshit_**


End file.
